zackenen:

More readable version can be found here

mr-cappadocia said: So why does Cracked CONSTANTLY push Feminist propaganda so hard? And let's not bullshit ourselves. You do. Just yesterday you published five articles. Two specifically referenced either Feminism or Feminist backed statistics. Conversely whenever you cover anything related to the opposition you not only mislead about their views... you straight up fucking lie about them and people let you get away with it because you're a "humor magazine". So I'm wondering why you propagandize *so hard*. Why?

cracked:

sorenbowie:

jetpackexhaust:

codyjohnston:

thisdanobrien:

hereinidaho:

Because we’re true believers! 

Let me take this moment to say how Cracked could have gone another direction 7 or 8 years ago, a more Maximy, Booby Gallery of the Day direction if not for the steadfast resistance of David Wong and Jack O’Brien. I barely acknowledge the side that opposes feminism, but Wong goes out of his way to understand people who are mad at feminists, and he writes about those views with more sensitivity and understanding that I could ever muster. 

To sum up: We don’t have an explicit agenda but if one comes across, It’s not one I’m ashamed of. 

Kristi is a liar. I remember the meeting where the Cracked brain trust sat down and was like “From now on let’s occasionally post articles that either directly or conspiratorially tangentially support equal rights for women so we can accomplish our ultimate end goal: Hack into the penis of every man and make it a smaller penis, or a penis that is otherwise laughable for a different reason upon which we all agree. It almost sounds TOO easy,” Jack said, as he (via the mainframe) hacked a young Robert Brockway’s penis. “I think my wife deserves my respect,” the now-neutered Brockway yelped.

#LaughablePenisRights

#NotAllLaughablePenises

It is weird that we do it so constantly, when everybody knows that people only deserve equal rights and treatment between the hours of4 and 7 pm on alternate February the 29ths. At first we worried that we couldn’t cover it all with our current propaganda budget, but we were able to transfer some funding to supporting feminism from our “Don’t be an asshole” budget because it turns out they overlap completely.

Look, I get it buddy. You’re pissed off because you’ve tried to be a good person your whole life and still you feel like you’ve been consistently stripped of the things you thought were guaranteed , and now there is a whole organized movement saying you still have too much, that you, just trying to live your life, is an affront to an entire gender. That’s a shitty feeling, but here’s the thing: no one is actually trying to take anything from you. That sickening feeling you have that your being robbed of basic human rights, there are people around you in your life who are feeling a worse version of that everyday. If you don’t believe me, look at any of the secret camera videos women have taken on the street to catch the verbal abuse they suffer, listen to any of the stories of guys who touch women on crowded trains and then smile at them as they leave because they know there’s nothing she can do about it, read any of the millions of accounts from human beings about the exhausting and demoralizing abuse they put up with every day. And you might not be the guy making them feel that way, I hope you’re not, but holy shit, you can actually help. You can help other people instead of standing in their way because it feels like another inconvenience. Finally, even if the absolute worse case scenario is true: this is one big conspiracy, Cracked and feminists and a huge chunk of the Internet are villainizing men unfairly and creating a culture where you’re no longer allowed to even voice your opinions without people getting angry- even if all of that is true- isn’t that worth preventing an inarguably high percentage of sexual abuse and dangerous objectification of your daughter/ your sister/ your wife? 

Not all the stabs at equality will be smart, or entirely on point or even helpful. This form of feminism is new, chillingly new for how long this shit has been going on, and not everyone is good at it yet, but holy shit, friend, how can you argue against the aim of basic respect for another human being?

XOXO,

Soren

Soren’s “empathy for you” is a false flag assault on your scrote size and don’t let anybody tell you different.

5948 notes / 1 week ago / reblog
cracked:

"If women want to degrade themselves by staring, that’s their problem."
If Pop Culture Started Treating Men the Way It Treats Women
awwww-cute:

"Walk me human": Says a little ball of cuteness
cracked:

Pauli Poisuo asked you for ideas he missed before, and you goddamn delivered.
4 Video Games That Desperately Need a Movie Adaptation: Pt 2

#3. Metroid
Like the Alien franchise, Metroid runs mainly on atmosphere and actress chops. In the trinity of screenwriter-director-star, this movie is barely going to need the first one, but fucking lives or dies with the quality of the last two. The lead role is the epitome of “Eh, it depends.” Is the director going for a 20-something Samus Aran? Jennifer Lawrence springs to mind, and I don’t want to name-drop her right away because she’s such an obvious choice, but fuck it — I’m calling Jennifer Lawrence. If we’re going for an older, more experienced galactic alien hunter (so help me, I will shit a lung if someone even suggests that Samus should be referred to as a “huntress”), I’ll gleefully switch my vote to Lena Headey solely for her performance in Dredd, and I will fight any man who contests this decision.

Read More
Why thigh gaps aren’t important:

sophisitikated:

- Beyoncé doesn’t have one
- do you need another reason?

108 notes / 1 month ago / reblog
my-trainer-tiffany:

My-Trainer-Tiffany’s Health Giveaway!
So, sense there are so many new adventures going on in my life right now and so many updates that I’ve done, I wanted to show my appreciation and throw you guys a nice little giveaway! 
What’s included:
4 Danskin active T-shirt’s- small and medium
1 Danskin active tank- medium 
1 pain NEW Nike spandex shorts- medium
1 pair NEW Nike leggings- medium
1 NEW Nike tank
1 pair Under Armour yoga pants- medium
1 pair women’s Puma shoes size 7.5
1 Green Superfood Amaing Grass powder
1 Protein Smoothie mix
1 yoga, tai chi, and reflexology sets
1 Blender Bottle shaker cup
I will also be adding some other stuff until the giveaway date like the product I use to whiten my teeth, other beauty products, yoga mat/accessories, online training package/ebook/custom fitness/nutrition program and/or some more bottoms. 
Rules:
Follow my blog, of course. I like to think I have a pretty good site, so it’s not asking much of ya ;D 
Re-blogging counts as 1 entry, liking  does not count but you can do so to keep track of it! (Just make sure not to spam with reblogs, because Tumblr will not show me more than 1 at a time)
You do NOT have to be a health or fitness blog! But I do ask that you have something on your page about your health or fitness journey. Because, of course, I am trying to provide tools to help those who are committed to living a healthier lifestyle.That being said, please no pro ana/pro ed blogs though. All recover blogs are welcome to enter though!
Contest is open world wide. I will choose a winner via random number generator on September 30th 
Check out the winner of my last giveaway!
64025 notes
theniftyfifties:

Marilyn Monroe
224773 notes